Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
