look no pants
too bad you live with your parents still
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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