well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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