some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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