He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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