i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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