everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
