We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
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The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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