hell yes lets make some ravioli
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
