Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
