Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
