Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
