We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
