he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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