these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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