some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
