I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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