I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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