hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
