I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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