Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
