we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
