I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I think I am morally bankrupt
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
