This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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