New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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