respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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