is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
