margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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