You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
This is my gift to your gina
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Randomize
