the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize