I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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