After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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