come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Green mimosas i think yes
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He better not be in your backpack
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
as a side note pls kill me
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
