I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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