So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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