i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
