So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
