I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
