Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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