You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
