So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
