Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
