You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
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Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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