Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
