Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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