One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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