he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
