I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
