sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
