I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
