I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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