As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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