its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
