Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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