It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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