Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Do vagina's smell?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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