His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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